Roses are red violets are blue next thing you know my D*** is in you

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mangos mandarins mushrooms mustache :{

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Why did Billy fall over? Because someone tripped him.

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my goldfish never writes me back when i send him letters

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Girlfriend: Hey, you know whats the cutest thing ever? COMIC SANS Stabs girlfriend in the eyes.

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An alligator crawled into a bar Animal control is promptly called and he is released in a nearby lake

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99% of teenagers would cry if they saw justin bieber on the top of a skyscraper, about to jump. However, there is 1% who would be sitting in a lawn chair at the bottom screaming, DO A BACKFLIP!!!

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Whats long hard and has seaman? A submarine!

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Who's looking for judicial toenail clippings?

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How do u kill a horse? U stab it with a huge butcher knife

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Your mother just died.

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What's purple, smells like an eggplant, and looks like an eggplant? An eggplant.

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What's the difference between sand and menstral blood? I can't gargle sand

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his failing marriage.

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What do a Nazi and a Democrat have in common? They are both members of a highly supported political faction.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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Much to my surprise, the Hoover Dam was not built by beavers.

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what do hookers and bungee jumping have in common? They are both 100$ to be in/on and if the rubber breaks your screwed

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What's funny about 9/11. Nothing.

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What did a husband do when he came home to find his wife murdering their children? Nothing. There is no excuse for domestic violence.

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Mexican? I dont care if you are Mexican or not really, it makes no difference to me, I know you, I seen you before. But seriously, I consider you a good friend and all, and it seems we both get along, but you know after stuff happens, are we still friends then or is this all just a mating game thing for you? You can be honest with me, I am a realist, and I kinda like the idea of,the day after tomorrow, wont deny that. Its just that I dont want to lose a good friend in the process, and if this is just you trying to score, then well, I guess its still nice knowing this side of you.

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What is the difference between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney? One is President, the other is not.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Dinosaurs are extinct.

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Ask me if I'mm a candy cane. Shutup, there are a lot of these types of jokes. Create your own you poophead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops