What's worse than the holocaust? Microwaveable jellied horse nipple

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A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: "What kind of bread would you like? Brown or white?". Penguins answers: "Well, it doesn't really matter since I came here by car!".

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I obviusly meant: Have you ever seen a cow chasing boots? Because the one with the cowboy chasing boots doesn't make sense...

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What's big and white and can't climb trees? A mattress

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Why did the man with no arms or legs fall out of the tree? Because he got shot.

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you...

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener.

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he suffered severe blood loss and is most likely dead.

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What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "cum" on your face.

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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- Why did the man with the big pocket get arrested in Utah? - Because adultery is illegal in Utah.

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what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

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A horse walks into a bar, prompting the show-jumping judges to subtract points for failing to clear the obstacle.

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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What do you call a group of geese? A giggle

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Roses are red violets are blue Timmy what are doing with that gun?! Bang....

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a bucket of shit? A black man is a life form, more specifically a homosapian, while the bucket, as well as the shit, is an inanimate object.

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Did you hear about the guy in town living in a tyre, he got a puncture now hes living in a flat.

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I love you, you love me. Barney is fat and not entertaining.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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Why is McDonalds bad for you? Because their is so much fat in all its products, and contains many calories.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street. Well actually, they just rolled a bit and then stopped. Peanuts don't have legs.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops