Why are black people not allowed to play football? They are.

Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

Knock knock Come in

Salt: "Hi there!" Slug: "AAÀAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!" *dies*

A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

watched pride and prejudice last night. I hate period dramas... too much blood

what did the girl say after she got hit by a bus, nothing she was dead

Q. whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A. I dont jump on my trampoline with metal cleats.

"bus driver pressed the horn at my mum and she stuck a finger up at him " Not the first time she's got the horn and shoved a finger up

jordan godfrey is good looking lolololol

Neither did she.

Why did the cow cross the road? -Because it lives in India and is allowed to.

My mother has chlamydia. That's it.

Whats worse than finding a worm in an apple? having a worm sized penis.

How many blondes does it take to change a diaper? About a thousand

A janitor walks into a bar. He cleans the bar.

Dam. Mothers Against Dyslexia.

Q: What's blue and smells like grass? A: Blue grass.

where did little suzie go during 9/11 EVERYWHERE...

If Voldemort was gay who would be his partner? Happy potter

What's the capital of Hungary? Thirtsy

What african eat for christmas Sand.

Knock knock Who's there Why? Why who? Why so serious?

Doctor Doctor, I keep getting horrible boils all over my face! Okay then. Take off your underwear and we'll see what's going on.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...