A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

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What do Richard and Judy have in common? Nothing.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the chicken!

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How do you get your sister to stop wearing your underwear? Throw up on her.

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Harry to Voldemort: Your mother is so fat, her patronus is a cake!

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what's the difference between 7 and 2? 5

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What's black and white and red all over? A modern abstract painting

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A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

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How many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen beetle? Four, although five is possible if you are not afraid of getting a ticket.

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What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

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Why did the boy run a marathon? because one of his good friends had just earlier passed away from pancreatic cancer and he decided to honor his memory by raising money through a 5k run. His family, friends and acquantances were all very proud of him and decided to hold the charity every year.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was a really creepy movie

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i remember when i was a child i wanted a skateboard but my parents would never buy me one so late one night i crept downstairs and got a hammer and some wood and i beat them to death my foster parents baught me 5 skateboards

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The game.

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A boy and a girl are each granted a wish Girl: I want us to be lovers until the end of the world Boy: I want the world to end

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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Why did the little girl go to the hospital?........................Beacuse she fell when trying to steal cookies out of the cookie jar on top of the fridge.

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Roses are red So are you Cause you killed my dreams So I killed you

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A bloke walks into a bar. He doesn't say 'ouch' because it was a public house and not a hard surfaced object as you may have thought initially

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Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

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why did the chicken cross the road? IDGAC

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why do gingers have no friends? They are non sentient stems that are simply not capable of interacting with intellectual humans

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how do you get a 1 armed moron out of a tree? you wave

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Don't tease the fat kids. They have enough on their plates.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops