What sinks quickly to the bottom of a river? Your dead parents.

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What's the difference between a dead black man in the road, and a dead dog in the road? One is a human being that probably leaves behind family and friends that will miss his absence. The other is an animal that will also be missed, but to a lesser degree since dogs don't form a bond with people other than the family it shared its life with. In either of the two cases, if I witnessed the accident that caused the death, I would promptly notify the authorities so as to make sure that the driver of the vehicle that hit them would be subjected to a breathalyzer test.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? were lawyers

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Today, my house burned to the ground. FML.

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

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what did steven hawking say to the prostitute? Nothing, he is unable to speak, he needs help from his word speaker thing.

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Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 7 is a registered sex offender

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why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

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911 jokes are just plane wrong

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What's worse than falling off a horse? Falling off a cliff.

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- What would you say if you'll see a Mexican eating hamburger in fast-food restaurant? - Enjoy your meal.

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Why was the Africanan boy hungry? Because food is hard to come by in Africa.

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two hippo's were in the lake. The water was up to their eyes. What did one hippo say to the other? I don't know why but i keep thinking it's tuesday.

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Q)why couldn't the baby talk? A)the baby was dead.

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Why wouldn't Michael J. Fox make a good Sniper? Because he has no military experience.

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Why did george washington not make it to the prom? because george washington is dead

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother. Please open the door. Your mother who? You were adopted.

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What do you call it when a dead man has his wallet stolen? Rob Zombie.

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Two kids walk into a bar and get arrested for underage drinking.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? one, hes an electrician

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops