A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game. She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand." "What did you not understand?" And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Knock knock. Come right on in.

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A woman is hit by a car. Thankfully she manages to survive, but the driver is fined a lot of money for speeding.

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Someone loses their golfball in the trees. Their playing partner replies: "what is this? This berenstein bears?"

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An slutty attractive secretary went into her boss' office He killed her.

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When geese migrate, why is one side of the V longer than the other? There are more birds on that side.

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A guy walked into a bar. He got drunk. He hit a small child with his Suburu and was charged with a DUI.

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People who are addicted to brake fluid just can't stop.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's rich...

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A 16 year old girl went into a bar. The police realized she did not have an ID, and arrested her.

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why were the African, Asian and Mexican men thrown out of the bar the barman was a racist

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Theres a tomatoe a cucumber and a mouth. HA

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Why don't pineapples grow on pine trees? Because they're tropical.

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one time at band camp there was a guy guess what he played? no one knows

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Women's Rights

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Why does Miley Cyrus make sex tapes It's the only acting job she can get

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why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

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roses are red vilest are blue shes mine and if you take my place my fist will go in your face

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Why is it okay to have four cats? Because I said so.

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what did the man say to his horse? sex. -teagan doherty

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i walk into a bar,and then proceed to be taken out because i am a minor -chuckles

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Who's Juan? DIS ONE

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19 roosters walk into a roller coaster

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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