Roses are Red. Violets are blue. I took a shit on your wife's face last night.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Ask me for £1000 Can I have £1000 No get a job

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To get to the other side.

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what does rain do? think of how happy its life was!

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what do a blonde and a brunette have in common? They were both red-heads until they walked into great clips.

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So there's this white guy with a huge dick.

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noah is a scrub jungle

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Roses are red, Violets are too. I'm colour blind, It's a very depressing infliction.

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Little Birdy: Are you my mother? Man: No, I'm a murderer. Get in the truck.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Ebola, You're going to die.

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Why was the black kid in the AP Calculus classroom? Because he was a very driven student, who studied hard so that he could attend a good University and build a good life for himself and his family.

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how does hitler drink soup ? with a spoon

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Knock Knock. READ THE DAMN SIGN IT SAYS NO SOLICITORS!!! ... yeah.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzhiemers Wait, who are you

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7 chickens ran down the road. One ate a spider. He is now the fattest chicken.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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What's worse than reading the same joke multiple times? Having cancer.

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Q: What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? A: A bus stop

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so a man walks into a bar *pint of bud there please

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender served him a beer and said "why the long face?", to which the horse replied "neigh". The bartender was later fired for incompetence and serving beer to a horse.

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How do rocket scientists exchange greetings? They say "hi"

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm sorry to say it but i hate you

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What did the black man say after he swallowed the bicycle? He didn't say anything. Swallowing a bicycle is physically impossible.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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