Why isn't Michael Jackson aloud at Disney world? He is dead.

Woman:I give my Heart to You! Man:Thank You!!! The Woman then dies because one can't live without a heart

A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walk briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

two peanuts walked into a bar they both sat down and immediately left once they found out the bar was serving peanuts.

What bouriquet got to do open HIS FACEBOOK!

Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

The little girl asks her father "Daddy why is santa fat?" "you have to exist to lose weight" he answered

what did the African kid get for his birthday AIDS

Why did Todd have intimacy problems? He was molested as a child.

What do you call a Mexican policeman? Officer.

What happened when Stephen Hawking tried to go down the stairs? He fell and suffered minor injuries.

What's the difference between a ferrari and pile of dead babies? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

Why was the little boy crying? Because a stranger shoved explosives up his butthole.

Why did the monkey cross the road? Because he saw the chicken do it.

Why did the cop pull the black guy over because he was speeding

Did you hear about the one about the man who walked into the library? He likes reading

Why did the road cross the chicken? The 2 nouns in the sentence has been switched.

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What's green, has six legs and would kill you if it fell on you out of a tree? A pool table.

what do u call a blonde in the libary? alexandra wallace

What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in circle.

Help, this is an urgent message from the S.S. Obesity. We're sinking; I can't imagine why.

How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? ...You mean, you don't know?

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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