What did red say to yellow? Move over orange is coming now.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? You kill him with an axe

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How do you kill Chuck Norris? Shoot him in the face.

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The snails are salting one by one Hurrah! Hurrah! They fizzle up until they're gone Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting two by two Hurrah! Hurrah! They melt until there's only goo Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting three by three Hurrah! Hurrah! Some shells and slime is all I see Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting four by four Hurrah! Hurrah! We shaker-salt them even more Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die!

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What happened after the lawer jumped off the bridge? His family mourned his loss for years.

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What do you say to a dead man who knocks on your door? Nothing, you shoot him cause he's a zombie

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What did one lion say to the other lion? Nothing. There was no other lion. This particular lion had horrible social anxiety so he spent most of his time alone, eating buffalo poop and playing World of Warcraft thus further alienating himself from the other lions. He was a very lonely lion.

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Argon walks into a bar. The bartender yells, "Get the hell out!" Argon doesn't react.

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Q-What's the good thing about dating a girl volleyball player? A- She's a Girl

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Why isn't Michael Jackson aloud at Disney world? He is dead.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 beat the crap out of 8.

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I was walking down the street the other day And I pushed a child under a bus

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What is fat and ginger? No...Not Garfield...Rebeka Tims

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A man drinks a java while using Java His java was hot, making him spill on his laptop Blue screen of death

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What have you got there? Hitler's gas bill... Oh.. don't show him that, he'll be furious Whys that? He can't read.

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roses are red violets are blue i bribed a hobo to eat my poopoo

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra

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Gretta has five legs? -no

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whats worse than someone blowing out all your birthday candles? a piano dropping on your head.

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Lol, okay you have made Nero of the clan of the Moralians the mighty laugh and go aww... Seriously, first of all, WHAT THE FUCK IS NAUSEUS? Secondly, okay its Ridge Racer, close enough, aww, seriously that sounds like the cutest thing, I mean did you bleed? DID YOU HARM YOURSELF! DELIGHTFUL... Moral: Seriously though, seeing you tilt over while playing a racing game, kinda cute, just put a pillow there next time you know just saying, because I play videogames, I cant go sexytime for hours without pumping some ADRENALINE INTO MY MIGHTY ROD OF STONEFLESH!

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Q) A black man and a white man are playing a basketball game, who will win? A) The one who scores the most points.

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why did the boy fall over? because he was hit by a fridge that fell out of the tree.

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Hey Lady Gaga, Madonna called, she wants her clothes back; she lend them to you weeks ago for a concert because you didn't have anything to wear and you haven't returned them yet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops