How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well, one must question: 1. How much the electrician knows when it comes to screwing in lightbulbs. 2. The amount of electricians present at the scene. 3. The type of equipment being used in the process. 4. The physical and mental stability of the electrician. The situation is solely dependent on the above factors.

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What is exceptionally dangerous? Shaving while taking a bath, because the risk of electrocution is extremely high.

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Bob Saget

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What did the red paint say to the blue paint? They said nothing. Paints don't talk and you need to see a doctor if you answered anything else.

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So a guy comes into a bar... And he is cited for public indecency.

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once opon a time. never mind i'm just going to beat you kids.

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What`s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff What did the banana say to the ear? Hello

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What do you call cheese that isnt yours? Stolen cheese.

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You know what sucks ? A vacuum.

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What do you call a spider with no legs? A spider.

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New mission: refuse this mission

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and an astronaut? One walks on the moon and the other has sex with little boys.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face!

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What does? 42

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Knock knock Who's there? You're You're who? YOU'RE MOM IN MY BED!!! (i know it sucks)

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so i can text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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What do you call an Arabic man flying a plane? A Pilot.

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how do you stop a gang of black people from raping a white woman? throw a basketball

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your Apple? Finding an apple in your worm

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why do people take pictures in the bathroom? because they just got done taking a crap and they wanna see if they lost weight.

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Your mom is so nce that when you got into college she taught you to be more independent so you could succeed later in life.

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Q: What do you call a bathtub? A: A bathtub

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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