Q: How many times did the chicken cross the road? A: One and a half.

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What do astronauts and Wayne Rooney have in common? I don't know. Ok.

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"bus driver pressed the horn at my mum and she stuck a finger up at him " Not the first time she's got the horn and shoved a finger up

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Once ther was a happy little boy and he was just playing with his dinosaur when he was hit by the school bus that was supposed to take him to school. The End

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What do you call a blonde in a library? Lost

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Knock knock Who's there Orange Orange who Orange

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Knock Knock Who's there? Cindy Cindy who? No it's Cindy Lou Who!

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What do you call a black man walking down the street? Danger Approaching

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie!

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What do you call John Lennon without glasses? A skeleton, because John Lennon is dead.

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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Q. Why did the black man not get on the boat A. Because he gets seasick

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Q: What are 4 consecutive fart's called? A: Fart's, unless someone gives them names?

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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Your mom is so old that she most likely will die soon.

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Mom: what does IDK, LY, and TTYL mean? Son: I don't know, love you, and talk to you later. Mom: OK, I'll ask your sister.

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What do you call a man who does not burst into tears after hearing that his mother has died? A person that has been desensitized by today's cruel world and society.

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How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

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what goes boo a sock

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Why did the chair fall off the cliff? Well it is an inamitate object so it did not move itself, someone must have threw it

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So a man and his wife were in a horrible car accident. The man died, so why isn't the wife mourning his death? Because she is also dead. But, do you know who did mourn and cry over this horrible tragedy? Their children, other family members, and friends.

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What's black and white and red all over? A plague victim.

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What do you call a low-fat banana? A nothing...

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What does Mitt Romney approve of flip flops? They feel good on his feet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops