why is 6 scared of 7? because 7 eight 9

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Wgat did the umpire say to the asian batter? Foul ricebowl!

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What do you call a woman who has huge breasts? Sarah, for instance.

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Rose are red, Violets are blue Your cat is dead Turkey

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A blind man walks into a bar. The shopkeeper says, "the bar is nextdoor." The man walks out.

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what did the cat say to the monkey meow then he got hit by a car

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What's wrong with the axe murderer that lives down the street?? Nothing.

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tomatoe tomato my toe is named tom

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Okay, but cut me some slack here, its not as straight forward as it sounds, I got at least twice as many active synapses as other people do, that means twice the thought process, in video games I can for example remember twice the commands, and such. Sadly this does not mean that I can think twice as fast or twice as smart, but rather that I do so involuntarily in short spans, until I burn myself out. So be a bit nice to me, when I say that I have since I was a kid used about 2.5-7.5 mg valium, this is just because my thought process works so fast I burn out because well, I got the processor, but it burns out, excuse me my wife needs some help with her cellphone, see you soon

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Slavery.

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Who's on first? Garvey.

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This is a haiku A lovely type of poem It's snowing on Mt. Fuji

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Why couldn't 7 multiply itself by 18? Because there were two people having sex in between them.

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Why was Rodney afraid of Chung Lee? Because Chung Lee is an intimidating person, capable of literally ripping your face off.

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Q: When is a door not a door? A: Before it has been asembled or after it has been taken down and no longer maintains the physical form of that which a door typically has.

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Q: How do you make a clown frown? A: Hit it with an ax.

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"Hey want to hear the best knock-knock joke ever." "Sure." "Ok you start." "Knock-knock." "Whos there?" "..........."

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What do Richard and Judy have in common? Nothing.

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Why did the 100 year old man die? He was really old and his heart stopped beating after his BLT.

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What worse that punching a baby? Stabing one.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colourblind.

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whats brown and fluffy? brown fluff

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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