Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What do you call a deer with one eye? Injured.

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What did the cat say at his mother's funeral? Nothing. He was too grief stricken over the loss of his beloved guardian.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear? The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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If Bob has 65 sweets and he eats 57 how many does he have? Bob has diabetes. He has high blood sugar, either because the body does not produce enough insulin, or because cells do not respond to the insulin that is produced.

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A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

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Q: What's worse then 10 babies nailed to a tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees

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How many gay men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. He was happy to do it.

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what class did Jimmy get an A in? None, he is dyslexic

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I got pissed off at my little brother... So I threw him out of the window.

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Why did the Italian family have spaghetti for dinner? Thats the only thing they had in the house

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Okay lord and master, now get lost, I am trough with you, I have other things to get done, XD My nose is so itchy XD

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why did the boy drop his icecream?? he got hit by a bus

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A chicken crossed the road and the farmer said, "Where the hell is that chicken going!?"

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How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get i the car.

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Three guys walk into a bar. The four man hastily ducks, grabs his phone and calls the local paramedic.

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why are black people so good at sports? hard work and dedication

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. At what point would a chicken consciously know it was crossing a road.

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When did the ball-room finally close? Closing time.

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Q Why did the feminist cross the road? A To suck my dick

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Dyslexic drunk died choking on his own vimto last night

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How do you suppress a black hole? Surround it with white holes

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A man accidentally chops his thumb off while preparing his dinner for the night. He immediately calls an ambulance and has his thumb preserved which is later reattached back onto his hand. He then continues his dream career as a solo pianist.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven had a huge ass mole

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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