What would you do if I said a horse ate your mother? It doesn't mattet, I didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A Black Man Walks Into an Office For A Job Interview. The Meeting Goes Very And He Soon Has A Very Nice Steady Job.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

thumb_up thumb_down +24

God is like semen. They're both nouns.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man walks into a bakery and buys a doughnut. He then starts to drive home when he realised that he'd forgoten to eat the doughtnut and has to returne to do so.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is worse than finding a real joke on Anti-joke.com? Starving children in Africa.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did Sally have a headache? She had a Brian tumor the size of an eggplant.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Have you heard any anti-jokes? ... Are you Jewish by chance?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A chinese man walks into a kitten store. He is a nice man in search of a companion.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whats worst then finding a repeated joke on anti joke? The holocaus.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the dinosaur and John Wayne say to the Easter Bunny? Nothing, they're both dead and the Easter Bunny isn't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

When does the ice cream get thrown at the yellow horse on thursday evening? Purple Monkey Rainbow

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a man who is walking into walls and poles? A blind man who really needs your help.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

It's the police sir. There's been an accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why can't girls count to seventy? Trick question. Clinical research has proven that a fair amount of girls are, in fact, capable of counting from one to seventy using ordinal numbers in the Arabic numeral system.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

shit is shit, even if you paint it purple; its still shit

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A blind 1st grader is doing math. He can't figure out a problem so he asks his mom to help, his mom then ask "Why don't you just count by your fingers?" the little boy then said "MOM! I'm blind I can't see!" his mom replys "then how do you see your homework?" the boys replys "I opened my eyes, now help me"

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops