A woman gets into the front seat of a car and starts driving.

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how did the fat man get up the stairs he walked

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What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

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What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with a live one crawling out.

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Sarah Palin

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A deranged serial killer walks into a bar. No one leaves because he looks like a normal guy.

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What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

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How many morman minutes does it take to get to school? A lightyear

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was a really creepy movie

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How do you get 100 midgets into a mini? You have to manufacture a mini big enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It won't be street legal, but at least your problem with fitting the midgets in the mini is solved.

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a lady says, " i cant stand this." Th guy next to her had his legs blown off and will never be able to stand again.

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A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

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whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why can't girls count to seventy? Trick question. Clinical research has proven that a fair amount of girls are, in fact, capable of counting from one to seventy using ordinal numbers in the Arabic numeral system.

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why did the kid struggle in school? because hes mentally retarted

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did you know towels can cause dry skin?

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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What did the dinosaur and John Wayne say to the Easter Bunny? Nothing, they're both dead and the Easter Bunny isn't real.

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When does the ice cream get thrown at the yellow horse on thursday evening? Purple Monkey Rainbow

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What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

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What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops