Why was the chubby bird that you were staring at you angry. Because you were looking at him.

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What is white but you can't see it? A bottle of milk around the corner.

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A man is in prison and one day his cellmate offers to help him escape. The cellmate tells the man to quickly hide under the covers on his bed and that he'll instruct him further once the security guard passes. The man is then raped. Savagely.

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Why can't kids do drugs in school? Because it's against the rules.

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a charmander decided to take a swim a.w. j.p.

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Whats black and yellow and is funny when its falling off a cliff? A bus full of niggers.

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What did the Apple Tree say to the Oak Tree? Nothing.

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How do you catch a green elephant? you paint it red and use a Red Elephant Trap

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Two men walk into a bar. Realizing that they aren't alcoholics and don't drink, they walk back out.

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What was wrong with the tomato? Nothing.

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The awkward moment when you find your wife on the online dating site you are on.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a fridge halfway through walking.

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Lil Wayne's song 6 foot 7 foot was named after my wewe

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What did the kid with all F's on his report card get? Beat by his parents

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How does a man with no legs cross a road? In his wheelchair.

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Charlie Sheen, Mel Gibson, and Chris Brown all walk into a bar. I don't know what the punchline is, but I'm pretty sure the cops are there.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He stepped on a piece of a shattered bottle from a bar fight. Don't worry, though, it was just a little cut and he felt fine after a few beers.

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What do you call a black guy driving an airplane? A pilot

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realizing the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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What did Dave tell me on Tuesday? "It's Wednesday, dumbass."

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Slug on ya tooth Gavin David Newman

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What is the meaning of life? Definitions of life on the Web: a characteristic state or mode of living; "social life"; "city life"; "real life" the experience of being alive; the course of human events and activities; "he could no longer cope with the complexities of life" the course of existence of an individual; the actions and events that occur in living; "he hoped for a new life in Australia"; "he wanted to live his own life without interference from others" animation: the condition of living or the state of being alive; "while there's life there's hope"; "life depends on many chemical and physical processes" the period during which something is functional (as between birth and death); "the battery had a short life"; "he lived a long and happy life" the period between birth and the present time; "I have known him all his life" the period from the present until death; "he appointed himself emperor for life" a living person; "his heroism saved a life" liveliness: animation and energy in action or expression; "it was a heavy play and the actors tried in vain to give life to it" living things collectively; "the oceans are teeming with life" the organic phenomenon that distinguishes living organisms from nonliving ones; "there is no life on the moon" biography: an account of the series of events making up a person's life a motive for living; "pottery was his life" life sentence: a prison term lasting as long as the prisoner lives; "he got life for killing the guard"

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why did susy fall off the swing? Cause she has no arms knock knock Who's there? not susy

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Why did the little girl miss 7 straight days of school? She died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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