What did the Chinese man do with the sick dog he found in the alleyway? He took it to the vet, nursed it back to health, and later helped the dog get adopted by a nice family down the street.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Unfortunately there are billions of chickens in the world and based on the question it is not possible to determine which specific chicken is being referred to. Even if we were able to ascertain this knowledge it would be unlikely that we could determine its purpose, as chickens don't usually make decisions based on logical thought.

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Waiter, there is a hydrogen conducting carbon nanotube in my soup. That is part of the special, sir.

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Lol you respond here goood one AAANDEEERS TEN MG PER PILL Asswhipe! Besides friends call me Black Metal, you can call me Nero the avenger. Line kinda broke up with you first, you think she would send you a picture with my finger on her... cough... AND THINK YOU WOULD STILL STIck aROUND WITH HER? Id be more... well glad for your mothers sake, btw, she got me flowers, I wont tell the rest, but she got me another pic... Okay ill tell the rest then, first pic is my fingas, the other is my limpo in her mouth... The third is the funny doctor which caught us and wanted all three of us to be on the pic... Aww, no really man, you had a gem, we where good friends before me and Line, but she did not want to leave before she got me flowers... Aww... Ooooh... Oh! Well not yet but you get the picutre. I got ur message, sure im high as a kite, but I know what im doing if you can "picture" what I mean... Dont tell your mom btw, I want to surprise her, (reverse psychology) hmm, that did I write that? Anyway, how is your sister doing? I dont think she gives those strangely long hugs to anyone but me, and she laughed wen i got a boner... NERO, never call me, never ever call Me black, besides its either Mr.Black, oor black metla you rat! VALIUM? SERIOUSLY? Ill get that test extended you know... Because POISONING!

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Your social life.

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2 muffins are in an oven. One says to the other, "it's really hot in here!" the other replies, "WHOA. A talking muffin!"

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Knock Knock Who's there? Charles Grodin. Charles Grodin who? Exactly.

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Why did the weiner dog that punctured Doris' bladder get carried away during an oral sex session? Because the dog had a terribly troubled childhood which led to a faliure to adequately function in adulthood

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Why did Harriet Tubman have to take the underground railroad? Because she was a fugly slut.

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Ask me If I am an orange? Are you and Orange? No

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What's the difference between celery and a truck?

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What did the duck say to the other duck? Something, But us humans don't speak there language to understand

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why couldnt the man dunk? because he was 3' 2" and a legal midget.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Trash gets dumped Just like you

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

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What did one apple say to the other apple? -Nothing, apples can't talk

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What happend to the Jew when he was near the fire place He very carefully tended to it

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Why is it good to date twenty eight year olds? Because there is twenty of them.

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Three men walk into a gay bar, and have a great time because they're all of consensual age and brought condoms for safe sex.

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How many fingers am i holding up? none, my hand got blown off in Vietnam

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Why are Asians so good at math? because of their work ethic and determination to become the best at everything.rice.

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That joke was so funny that I fell off my dinosaur. Then afterwards had to be put in a rehabilitation center because I am schizophrenic and dinosaurs are extinct.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue,All you HATERS of J. Bieber, Go suck your MOTHER.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry Show me your tits

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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