A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the black man have lots of money. He studied hard at school and got into a good university. He dedicated 5 years of his life working relentlessly and getting his diploma in medicine then went on to work in a private hospital as head doctor and neuro surgeon. He was very successful in his specific field of medicine. That didn't work out so after quitting his job and realizing he had wasted over 7 years of his life achieving nothing but lose of interest in his career. He then bought a lottery ticket and won 8 million dollars.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A Mexican walks into Taco Bell, because it is the only restaurant within walking distance of his workplace.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

when trouble come down in your neighborhood who you gonna call? the local law enforcement or another form of personal protection

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? There are numerous things worse than finding a worm in your apple. Some include the holocaust and nuclear warfare

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the 13 year old drug addict crying? Because somebody shot him in the foot

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: Why was the black man good at basketball? A: because he practiced

thumb_up thumb_down +9

WANNA HERE A JOKE? (no, i purposely clicked in this joke website to simply here to fulfill my demonic internet pleasures.)

thumb_up thumb_down +9

do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Where do you find a dog with no legs ? Same place you left it ...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats white and blue and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a fridge in a denim jacket :D

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the cannibal say after he ate the clown? I am not sure as the tragic situation occurred while the clown was hiking alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

There's 2 guys in a Y shaped road. One road leads to a cliff with deadly alligators below the river. The other road leads to the village. You can ask both of the guys one question to which leads to the village. However, one guy always tells the truth and the other guy always tells a lie. How do you get to the village? GPS

thumb_up thumb_down +9

roses are red, violets are are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm wearing pants and I'm hungry

thumb_up thumb_down +9

#Last Christmas I gave you my heart #And as far as I know #The transplant was a complete sucess #And you have recovered from your operation #And are now well again #This year to save me from tears #I'll donate my kidneys

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Edward Smith had started telling a long rambling joke when William McMaster Murdoch cut him off with "I don't like where this is headed".

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do I have in common with your mum? We're in the same bed right now.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

yo mama just like a toilet, white and full of crap!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

roses are red violets are blue if i had a gun i would shoot you

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the nerd say to the cheerleader? Wouldn't you like to know? Mind your own business.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

They say "You are what you eat." In that case, I'm a pussy.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops