Wheres my hood? Behind your neck.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown There is crap in my garden

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?? It got shot Why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey

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Montague goes to the alcoholics meeting and says "Hello I'm Montague and I am an alcoholic" Evreyone points at him and chants "LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!" Montague is appaled, he expected to be welcomed with sympathy and respect. Then he realises his mistake. He has walked into meeting with a bottle of whisky and is wearing a Justin Beiber T Shirt

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What's faster than a black man carrying your TV? The law enforcement that promptly catches him and is about to charges him with theft regardless of his ethnicity because stealing someone else's property is just generally an unlawful thing to do.

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whats funnier than a banana an orange -may bieber

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why did the boy fly away because his mum shot him out of a cannon

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I had friends on the Death Star.

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Firgen and the blung brigade

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How do you ask a blonde out to dinner? Politely

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How I seem math word problems Scenario: 2 astronauts kayaking in the Sahara desert Question: How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse Answer: Purple, because ice cream has no bones

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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A black man walks into a bar and he orders a margarita. The bartender says that the margaritas are exceptionally delicious in this bar. He was right.

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How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got for Christmas? He's his dad. He bought the presents.

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why did the two girls fight? Because they were mad at eachother.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are yellow Azeleas are pinkish purple

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Why did the chicken cross the street? K

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Ding Dong! Who's the - - - wait - - - I don't have a doorbell.

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Why did little Billy not eat all his carrots? He does not care about his vision.

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How did 6-year old dyslexic boy start his essay on soap? Sopa is shit...

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"If life was fair, I would have a girlfriend" - William Deane

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what did the man with Alzheimer's say to his son? who are you!?

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How many zombies can you kill at once? about one or two unless your Chuck Norris with unlimited powers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops