What do you do to vegetables to make them taste good? Nothing. They are still people, and they can't speak up for themselves.

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He lost his punch line. -by Ross

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What did the alcoholic say to the blind man? Nothing. But he beat his wife and kids savagely.

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How do you make Adolf Hitler angry? You can't, dead people are not sentient, and hence cannot feel anger.

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Why was the boy walking in circles? One of his feet was nailed to the floor...

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weston cage

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Three Greeks and Three Turks are traveling by train to a conference. Both racial groups arrive safely to their destination.

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Asshole huh? Dont give me any ideas. Again you are not high on weed are you? Then that's really bad.

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A blind man walks into a wall.

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What do a purple cow and a red fire engine have in common? Both like eating pizza on Fridays, except for the red fire engine.

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Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calender? They each got six months.

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Why did the black guy get a boner? The nitric oxide levels in his trabecular arteries and smooth muscle of his penis rose, causing his arteries to dilate and therefore enlarging his penis.

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why did the fish get flushed down the drain? because it was dead

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Is Mike here? Mike Hunt? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt? Yes teacher, he is home sick with the flu.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To make it home in time for Thanksgiving.

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Roses are red. Violets are purple

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How many rich men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, to hire an electrician to do it for him.

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Whats worse than a baby crying on a plane. 9/11

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What's the difference between Izzy and a hobo? Nothing...they both have no job and no friends

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face"? The horse does not respond, because it is a horse and lacks any cognitive ability to speak or understand English. Instead, it becomes confused by its surroundings, takes a dump on the floor, and gallops out of the bar knocking a few tables over in the process.

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A local police officer pulls up to tell you something. Listen carefully: Three zebras have been spotted crossing the Mexican border. He goes into his truck, pulls out a can of marbles, peanut butter, seven velcro straps and a rhino horn covered in glitter. Your mission is simple: Kill the zebras using your equipment. You will be rewarded if you have enough peanut butter to make a sandwich after. Go now... Get it done.

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so a piece of grass is walking down the street..... wait a minute thats not right.

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What happened to timmy? He had downsyndrome and walked off a cliff

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops