whats green and slimy? green slim

Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree? A: Throw a moneky at her

Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes? A: Fsh

There is a famous joke, "What's black and white and re(a)d all over? A newspaper!" However, this is not featured on this website. Why? Because this is anti-joke.com, not joke.com - you moron

what do you call a gay guy in a sleeping bag? a fruit roll-up. GET IT? because gay guys like fruit roll-ups.

Why couldn't Jimmy ride his bike? Jimmy was a goldfish.

Did you hear the joke about Hellen Keller? Neither did she.

A man walks into a bar, he realizes his mistake and walks into the dentist next door where he had made an appointment to get his teeth cleaned.

What has 3 eyes, green fur and blue ears? Nothing.

How many babies can you fit in an oven? Depends how hungry you are.

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

What did the grape say to the bannana? Nothing.

Why did the guy to the moo moo cow say? Yesterday, I took a crap at the restaurant and the toilet got stuck so I stole the vehicle and won the lottery.

Where is aodhan's ma? Jail, she was cought with a bag full of the white powder.

Why don't you push a mexican off a bike, because its probably yours,

what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

What do you call a black man stealing your tv? A thief

Why was little Jessica missing?? She was stuck in the freezer.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon.

Whats the difference between males and females? fe

How do you spell eight? 8

A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

bryden is a faggot

Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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