Cigarettes are a lot like hamsters. Perfectly harmless until you put them in your mouth and catch them on fire.

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Why did suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not suzie!!

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Do You Know You Have Cancer?

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What's up with airplane food? Not sure, but last flight I was on they didn't serve any food. It could have been because it was too short of a flight or perhaps the recessed economy caused jetliners to cut costs. Either way, I didn't get a bag of peanuts.

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The blonde is in the park withb a rope a man passes and says what are u doing, she says im goin o hang and kill myself. the next day the man comes back and sees the blonde there alive he says i thought u were goin hang yourself she says i tried but i couldnt breathe.

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whats similar between a eagle and a armidillo? they both can fly. apart from the armidillo.

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Roses are red Violets are blue My body is ready I want you

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died.

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My aunt said slow and steady wins the race....... She died in a fire

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What's worse than an hours detention? Gettind raped by a horse anally.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? An alive one at the bottom eating its way up.

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How do you make a professional wrestler cry? You don't

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Q: Why couldn' the muslim eat pork? A: Because he had been raped and killed by a giant scorpion.

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Knock knock. Who's there? FedEx. FedEx who? Just kidding, it's hookers.

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I like playing in the balls. I like balls.

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whats worse than killing people that have bags on their heads? finding out that the people that u have just killed were your own children.

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Whats more fun than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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whats worse than death getting your nuts ripped of by a rabid racoon

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what does lady gaga and a vacuum have in common? nothing. lady gaga is a human and the other is a house hold item.

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What has 8 legs and 1 eye? 2 chairs and half a fish.

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Why can't Larry drive? Because he doesn't have his license, and his temps expired!

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A:Whats the air speed velocity of a swallow? B:What an african or English swallow? A:Well I don't know that.

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name one thing that is impossible!! A sober irishman

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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