There were two elephants in a bathtub. One elephant says, "Hey, could you pass the soap." The other replies, "No soap, radio."

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Whats long and hard and women like to suck on them? A popsicle or long lollipop

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Whats funny about alexis? she's really a boy!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A horse walks in a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?"..... The horse incapable of understanding the humane language promptly poos on the floor and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

what do you call a sick eagle illegal

thumb_up thumb_down -35

How did the blonde girl get pregnant? Sperm enters their vagina and fertilizes an egg cell causing a child to be conceived.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Whats worse then 10 black men hanging from trees? Kittens

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Your momma is so fat that she decided to begin an exercise program and eat healthy and she lost weight.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Saggy Nipples By chan chan

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A rapist leaps out a woman and yells "surprise!" and proceeds to have non-consensual intercourse with her. Later, he is arrested by the police and charged with sexual assault.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What's the differnce of victims of Brady and Hindley and a pile of dead babies? Some were born dead and others were raped then killed. Kelvin Yang.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Kindness is what makes the world go round..... and chocolate.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

why does it take 2 woman with p.m.t to change a light bulb? because there both tired , feel bloated , and could do with a bar of choccy

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A guy comes home from work every day to his wife, who always seems miserable. He decides that her unhappiness is making him unhappy aswell, so he sits her down to talk things over. It turns out she is depressed because she can't get a job and the back wheels of her wheelchair are rusting.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? An effect of an overcrowded theme park

thumb_up thumb_down -35

a pope and priest walk into a bar what's the first thing they say? OUCH my head

thumb_up thumb_down -35

how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw 'em.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why did the black man buy a watermelon? Because they're not free.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why was the man sad? His brother died.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Knock, knock who's there? Steve Evans. Steve Evans who? You've already forgotten me? We just met on Eharmony yesterday.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What do you call a orphan with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Scrood

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Would you spit or swallow? Well, in circumstances when i am eating or drinking, i would swallow. Although if i had something disgusting in my mouth i would spit

thumb_up thumb_down -37

what do u call a kid with autism? a autistic s.o.b or Hennon bart

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops