How do you know a baby is dead ? When the dog plays with it more!

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Alright alright... But you gotta promise to call me then

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What used to be red, but isn't anymore? A scalped ginger.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. ( to heaven )

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You bumder!

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whats up and also down? your mum

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Look at the statement immediately below. Look at the statement immediately above. Hahaha! You cannot read this text! Therefore, the following joke fails to qualify as a joke and is therefore an anti-joke by virtue of constitution: Yo mama!

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "What'll it be?" The horse never replied.

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If there are four gay men that come into a bar and need to sit down when all you have is one stool; what do you do? Get three more stools.

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So I was standing in line at the grocery store and this little old lady let me cut in front of her. It was neat.

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Beached whale: "Look at me, I'm a land mammal"

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,Do you know what hapened to the janitor who cleaned the school halls? He finished the job, got paid a reasonable amount and went home to his average family.

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Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

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who are the worlds fastest readers? the people who jumped on 911 cause they read 48 stories in 10 seconds

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Q. How do you make a chicken dance? A. I don't know I was asking you.

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what happened when spongebob and Patrick were mean to sandy? she made a hurricane

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How do u make a black man cry? Kill his family!

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why did the pancake eat a spanish holiday? Because a plane crashed into his condominium

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A seal walks into a club.

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Why did the black guy get a boner? The nitric oxide levels in his trabecular arteries and smooth muscle of his penis rose, causing his arteries to dilate and therefore enlarging his penis.

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WHAT DO YOU CALL SOMEONE HAVING A MYOCARDIAL INFARCTION? Dead

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Q: How did the black man get the white man's money? A: He walked up, politely asked if he could borrow some money, and told him he would pay him back tomorrow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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