Why did the boy fall? He got tackled by a man that was 400 pounds.

Why did the dog have no legs? Because its previous owner had cut them off.

Why did the little girl fall off her bike? Because she had leprosy and had to have her legs and arms amputated

What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed? Nothing.

Why did the boy cry Because he fell

What did the blonde say when she saw a tan button on her calculator? That must mean tangent.

Why wasn't the woman happy when she gave birth? Because she was thrown into a pool of semen 9 months ago.

Yo mama so old, she must take arthritus medicine to keep out of extreme pain.

I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

Roses are red Violets are T I T S I like T I T S T I T S

How do you give an 80 year old man a heart attack? Hold a gun to his head

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Gary.

What Did Gretel say to Hansel? Stop having sex with Ariana Grande!

Why did the chicken cross the road? If you look closely, it's not a chicken, it's a man wearing a costume. He's going to a halloween party with some friends. Sally was not invited.

My heart is in my hands. Call an ambulance.

Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

How did the boy get a bruise? His mum threw a fridge at him! How did the boy get a big graise? He got mulched! Why did the boy get molested? Because he was naked in Mr. Molestogiacomo's house!

Why are humans and squirrels the same? They both live in trees except for the human

If an aeroplane falls from 15,000 feet in the air and crashes into and orphanage is it possible that no-one will get hurt? No,the aeroplane will destroy the orphange hurting the property value.

what do you get a man with no arms or legs for his birthday? a quick, painless death.

A black guy and a white guy are in a car. What is going to happen? They will arrive at their destination.

Why did they call the woman crazy? because she drowned her children in a lake.

Q: Why does it snow in Canada and not in Mexico? A: Because Canada is far from the equator and Mexico isn't.

Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack, due to her poor eating habits.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...