A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What is red and ragging? A Hemorrhoid

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Rose are red Violets are blue all I what to know is what do that mouth do

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Q: Who was shot 50 years ago? A: Abraham Lincoln was shot 50 years ago! (=

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what do you call a baby with no arms and no legs in a mailbox? a horriffic murder

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whats 7+4? 74

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What starts with an N and ends with R, that you wouldn't want to call a black person? Neighbor

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What's funnier than a chicken? nothing.

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Time flies an arrow. Fruit flies like banana.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Super Monkey Ball Deluxe. Super Monkey Ball Deluxe who? Oh no.

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There once was a man from Peru, he couldn't fit into his shoe. He went to Brazil bought a big. Swallowed it and died.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Plumber, ma'am." "Thank God you're here. I haven't been able to take a shower in three days."

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My friend thought that an onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I threw a watermelon at his face.

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High enough to know that fucking IQ is a terrible way to measure the total potential of the mind, which is potentially limitless depending on the person`s contact and control over the subconscious state.

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While running away a burgular cut his hand on a piece of glass. He fell to the ground bleeding like crazy. What did the police say when he saw the burgular? You've been caught red handed.

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What do you call a chicken with no head? A chicken with no head.

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Why did the girl drop her sucker? she was hit by a truck!

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What's worse than a bee sting? A katon.

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A dyslexic walks into a bar. He called it a bra because he was dyslexic and dyslexics misspell things. People laughed at him because mental disabilities are inherently humorous to them.

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What's the easiest way to become President? Have a background in politics and a catchy campaign slogan that voting Americans can relate to.

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Stop. Seriously stop.

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Why did the eskimo drag the seal into the igloo? Because the whale wouldn't fit.

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What's red white, blue and hilarious? Glasgow Rangers in administration!

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Yo momma is so fat that she is at a high risk for heart disease and diabetes!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops