What do you call a fish with no eyes? A very unfortunate blind fish.

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Why did 3 kids mom's die last year? Because they were depressed and committed suicide.

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What happened to the boy after his life saving surgery? He died of an unrelated disease.

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Hickory Dickory Dock. 2 mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one.. and the second one got away with major injuries, dying in a hospital three days later. The clock is now serving its 8th year in jail out of 25 years, and does not regret anything.

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I may be ugly, but I'm also dumb.

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what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

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Whats fun about having sex with twenty six year olds? Theres twenty of them

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

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What did a Blond do in the Desert? She got lost after Falling of a flying carpet

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Three Jews walked into a bar. I lied... it was a gas chamber.

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You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead."

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Why was Jenny alone? Everyone else had died in a zombie apocalypse.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge. Why did Sally fall off her bike? She was hit by a falling monkey and fridge.

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What did the Ethiopian get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars...except for the duck

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- Knock, knock. -- How many dead babies does it take to cross the street and walk into a bar? - That's an odd question to ask to a visitor. -- Your mom.

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Did you hear about the peanut that was assaulted? He filed a police report weeks ago and is upset by the sluggish nature of the justice system.

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What do you call an unconscious black man? An ambulance.

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RECTUM? Damn near spelled "Wrecked Him" the wrong way!

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What do you call white trash Garbage

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What's white and can't climb trees? Yogurt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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