-Why didn't a girl cry after she fell down with her bike? -Because a handlebar pinned her lung.

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The young orphan boy had high hopes for this Christmas. When he woke up, he ran to the foot of the tree and saw a large box wrapped with seasonal wrapping paper. He looked at it to see that it was for someone else. The boy recieved nothing for Christmas and was later hit by a bus that had veered off of the road to avoid hitting a dog. The boy is now paralyzed and is extremely disappointed as to how his Christmas had unfolded.

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Q: whats worse that sucking at piano A: the world blowing up

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Why was it raining lobsters? Because they ran out of men. Why did the basketball player miss the net? Because he was hit by a lobster

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Q: Whats funny about the Holocaust A: Nothing

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know either, i'm just wondering why a chicken is trying to cross the road!

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How was Charles Manson able to get women to kill for him? Because he was charismatic and intelligent.

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Godzilla steps on a bar and orders a Scotch.

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What did the fat man say when he saw the giant twinky on the billboard? I wish that twinky was real, because I am too poor to pay my bills, am getting audited, and cannot feed my four children on minimum wage.

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Yo mama is so fat , she died of a heart condition

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An Asian woman is driving home from work and arrives in 30 minutes, which is strange because it normally does not take that long but she left during rush hour and the traffic was very bad at the time.

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whats the difference between a boyscout and a jew? boyscouts come home from camp

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why is this joke funny because your laughing

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A deaf man sits down puts on his headphones presses play on his ipod starts to nod his head and realises what he has just done

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What did a pornstar say when she heard hard banging from the front door? Come inside.

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What did the Coke can say to the Pepsi can? Nothing it is a inanimate object and cannot speak.

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A blonde went to buy a Pizza and after ordering, the assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve. "Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says "what is this, some kind of joke?!"

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Hit him with an ax.

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What’s funnier than cancer? Most things, really.

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How many dead babies can fit in a barrel? 4 1/2

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PATIENT: Doctor, doctor, I can't see my legs DOCTOR: That's because you're blind

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If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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