The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver. She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so. She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you." He replies "BREASTS."

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If you watch the titanic backwards, its really about a magical ship which saves peoples lives!

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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Harry to Voldemort: Your mother is so fat, her patronus is a cake!

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How many shots do you have to take to start feeling light-headed? Ask JFK.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He actaully never did. He only made it half way before a cop issued him with an infringement notice for jaywalking.

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What do Richard and Judy have in common? Nothing.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

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A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

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What's black and white and red all over? A modern abstract painting

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what's the difference between 7 and 2? 5

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Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and way, along came a spider who sat there beside her and asked, "Hey bitch what's in the bowl?"

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, come at me again and I'll punch you

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whats the difference between a door knob? a milk carton, because people have legs so they can walk !!!!!

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Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

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What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

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Whats the difference between 10 dead babies and 8 dead babies? 2 dead babies.

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why did hitler hate the jews... because the nazies had to pay the gas bill

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How do you get your sister to stop wearing your underwear? Throw up on her.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the chicken!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops