I walks over to da shop de oother day and there was this guy and he was like... I bought some petrol. LOoooooooooL

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So there's this big ass bronco right? It goes to a store and it asks Ben Roethlisberger "Do you know where I can find some girls to rape?" Ben Roethlsiberger says "In aisle 5" so the moose goes down to aisle 5 but there aint no girls!

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whats green and dont fit? a dead epileptic.

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Q: What would George Washinton do if he was alive today? A: Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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the power to turn magnetism into light

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Q.what is the diffrence between a jew and a pizza A.pizzas dont scream in the oven

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? To get to Your House. Knock Knock. Who's there? The chicken

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How types of people are there? One, we are the only homo sapiens.

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Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

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What's big and juicy and liked to be sucked by women? A penis.

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women's rights, lol

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what did the old lady die of old age...

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What worse than a hurt puppy? Two hurt puppies.

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A dyslexic man gets asked what 1+1 is, he replies with a wopping 11. Grats <3

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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so the weather's nice...

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what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

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Say, "I have a really nice knock knock joke, but you have to start." To someone. They say knock knock You say who's there! and walk away.

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your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it shows that she is overwhieght

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fallow me on twitter #ieatveloceraptorsfordinner

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? I don't hammer the watermon

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how did the man jump over the mountain? it was a small mountain and he had a trampoline

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What do you call a man who tripped on a rock? A man who tripped on a rock.

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It only takes one drink to get me drunk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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