What do you get when you mix hydrochloric acid and a humans digestive track? Death.

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hey! have you seen that clown at Walmart that hides from gay people?

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There once was a man from Kentuckit, who like to dissapear with his dog and clean up the shit using a plastic bag and put it in the allocated public bin.

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How do you make a toddler run faster? Chase it with a lawnmower.

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A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: Doctor B: Doctor who? A: Doctor Johnson, i'm here to check up on you. How's the medication going? B: It's going well thank you, it's working. A: That's very good to hear. Hope you recover soon. B: Thank you!

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Who gives a shit? Justin Beiber.

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What's black and fast? A treadmill.

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Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waist down and had no way of feeling

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What do you call an argument between a Jew and a German? World War 2

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What has two legs and two arms? A Human

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WHART++EWEEEEEEEP FLARPEN CARPEN FLARP

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put C where A is. :D

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So I was walking along the beach one day and I see this whale. Then this dolphin named Lennie came up and was like, "Hey whale, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a while." And the whale was like, "Sorry, but I can't talk to you." And Lennie was like, "Whyever not?" And the whale said, "Because I'm not a starfish!"

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A man walks into a shop and picks up some items for his party. He walks out of the shop without paying for the items. The police are promptly called and the man receives a 4 year sentence in prison for shoplifting.

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Look at the next joke.

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Whats worse then finding a winning lottery ticket? Probably Everything

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What's the worst part about eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheel chair.

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Why couldn't Timmy go to the bathroom? He was constipated.

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what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

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What's the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? A ghost isn't a dolphin.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Your mom.

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Q: What do you call a black man's car being egged? A: A Hate Crime

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How do you help a one-armed man down from a tree? Wave.

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A black man, a small child, and a priest were all standing in line. They were all checking in the hospital after being in a 3 car pileup

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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