How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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It was a beautiful day, John was driving in his car down the street, Kameron was riding his bike preparing for a bike race the following day, and Griffin was having his 7th birthday party. John ran over Kameron and Griffin, he killed Griffin and broke Kameron's legs to where he could never stand/ride again

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How Do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door put the elephant in and close the door. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door take the elephant out put the giraffe in and close the door. The lion king has a meeting with all the animals but one doesn't turn up, which one is it? The giraffe because it's still in the fridge.

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- Mommy look, I built a sandcastle! - Who cares, you have cancer.

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What do you call your mom? Mom

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What's worse than swing a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

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Why could'nt Ray Charles read: He was black

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Justin with a hat.

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I told my grandmother to act her age.... she then died

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If you dislike this you are a homosexual (watch how many dislike this)

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

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what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Okay, seriously I'm done. I try to make a joke but I don't think I can do it anymore. I'm not funny I'm just a little coward who offers nothing to life. I should just kill myself. Fuck this joke, fuck you.

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

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one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

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Your momma's so old she might die soon.

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Two guys are walking on a bridge. One has long hair. The other does not care.

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Q:How do u kill a butcher A: Kill its family

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what's an advantage of breaking every bone in your body? nothing, you're screwed.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

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What's big, hard, in the water, and isolated? Shutter Island

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I thought about taking a nice warm shower, but then I realized that the power was out and it would probably be a cold shower.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops