Ten years ago we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash ... now we have no Jobs, no Hope and no Cash.

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My lady, that is the backside of trust, I have decided to trust you, how am I supposed to feel about the fact that I believe to the point where I know that you mean everything you are saying? And that if you had any interest in backstabbing me, I would be risking my life, wife and friends. Do you not get trust? If you keep thinking like that, tomorrow you could be suspecting the mailman for being a spy, I can, and could tell you that I will cut ties with my employees, but then I would have you not only to believe me, but to support me financially, I do not need much, in fact, I need you to trust me, and if you do not trust me, what does it matter if I quit? You could accuse me for typing books that alter the mind (all books do), you could accuse me of having killed Nero and taken over... The point is, if you cannot trust me, then I cannot help you with what you ask, and if that is a requirement for our friendship to persist, then you are not looking for a friend, but for a employee.

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What's the difference between Miley Cyrus and a dead baby? One is a popular singer and the other is a dead baby.

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Why did suzie fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms. Why didn't she get back on the swing? cause she had no legs. Why didn't anyone help her up? Cause she had no friends. Why did she stay their all night? cause she had no family.

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How many skilled union workers does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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How does Justin Bieber remove a condom? he farts

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I don't always browse the internet. But when i do i prefer Anti Joke.con

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Q:Why did Santa, the tooth fairy, and a rich man jump out of a plane? A: On Christmas Eve, a rich man was skydiving and lost his tooth as he plummeted towards the beautiful plateau.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Disabled.

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Menstrual jokes aren't funny. Period. Neither are 9/11 jokes. Just plane wrong Same with cripple jokes. Can't stand them I don't see why Helen Keller jokes are funny

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What did the man order at KFC, in Miami? A face.

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What do you call Justin Bieber's assassin? A hero doing a noble favor to the community.

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What did Mel Gibson say to his wife? I apologise for my rude behaviour and intolorable cursing.

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A Muslim on a plane yells out "Hijack!" Jack replies with "Hello" and the two engage in a casual conversation for the duration of the flight.

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Why couldn't the grandma remember what she did last night? Because she has Alzeihmers and grandmas don't do anything.

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A gorilla walks into a bar. It goes on a killing spree, and is promptly put down by animal control.

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A vodka please Sir this is McDonald's Ok sorry, a McVodka please

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? - Because it died.

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How do you create an antijoke? Story written by Danny and Patrick

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What do you call a bunch of whiteguys running down a hill? An Avalanche What do you call a bunch of black guys running down a hill? A Mudslide What do you call a bunch of mexicans running down a hill? A Jailbreak

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If an ice cream van goes out of business, who drove the Jeep into the furniture store? To get to the other side.

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Q: What do you call 5,000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A tragedy worse than 9/11.

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Why can't Ray Charles read? Because he's Black

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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