Why did Michael Jackson become white? He thought he saw a ghost.

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What was in the magical purple teapot? Two dying pelicans.

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A chicken crosses the road... Gets fined for jaywalking.

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sweating like antoni with a girl

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Q: What did the police officer tell the man without a shirt on? A: Put a shirt on.

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What do you get if you cross a river with a cat? Wet.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Yo mamas so fat when she was standing on a scale a girl walked by and said hey thats my phone number! Yo mamas so fat she broke the family tree!

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What name does Steve Bartman go by Now? Steve Bartman, but he just hides all day trying not to be killed.

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What did the pirate say when his parrot died? Nothing. He was upset and didn't really feel like talking.

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Knock Knock Who's There Not you... What? *Pulls out finger gun* *Screams BOOM!*

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Why couldn't the black guy support his family? He was only 3 years old.

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The last joke I tried to submit used "trolololol" as the enter code thing and I spelled it without the extra "lol" The lolz have got me again *this time it asked me for "basket case"

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What do you call an arabic man who sells bombs for a living? A business man.

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What's brown and sticky? Shit.

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anti-joke.com

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn’t get to cross the road. Halfway through the crossing, it was hit by a car and turned into roadkill. Then a family of black people picked it up and turned it into fried chicken.

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what do you call ten white people on a bench ten white people sitting on a bench, possibly eating their lunch

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

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A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian quickly picks out such a book and hands it to him, because to deny him the book would break the conventions of a library.

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What happened after September 11, 2001? September 12, 2001

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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