why did the asian wearing a sombrero buy orange juice at 2am? because hes trying to stay sober and do away with alcohol for good because its ruining his family and he wants to be a good father and husband.

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What starts with Pu and ends with Y, And homosexuals tend not to like them. "Pushy" People.

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Why do British Folk have yellow teeth? Genetics. Although scientists don't know the exact cause, it has been shown that people of British ancestory have a genetic predisposition which inhibits the body's breakdown and utilization of Vitamin C and Calcium. This causes decalcification and scorbutic gums. The British slang term "Limey" comes from the fact that the British Royal Navy was made to drink lime juice to prevent scury. The Royal Navy was almost wiped out by an epidemic of Scurvy.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. Sometimes you get the shitty coconut ones.

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A man in an airport asked me if i wanted my bag to be carry-on. So i said yes.

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3 black guys walk into a restaurant and they sat down, ate their meals, and even tipped the waitor handsomely then for about 10 minutes they talk and then leave restaurant. Soon after a white guy comes and holds up the place for all it's money then killing three hostages before being taken down by the police.

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How many fat people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to hold the ladder, another to screw it in. The third one stands to the side, just in case it breaks.

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How do you kill a blonde? Pull the pin and throw it back...then proceed to paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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The other day a man came to my door. After I opened it, he told me, "I'm sorry, your mother is dead." He paused, then said, "Just kidding." "Actually," I told him, "my mom died two years ago of natural causes." He turned around and left, and I closed the door. All in all, it was a very confusing situation, and I'm not sure how I feel about it.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Haulocaust Whats worse that the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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If Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee got in a fight, who would win? Chuck Norris, since Bruce Lee is dead.

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How did Jesus walk on water? Jesus is God in the form of a man, and he is the only human being ever with the ability to perform miracles

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A patient goes to the doctor. The doctor says I have bad news and even worse news. The patient says "What's the bad news?" The doctor says "You only have 24 hours to live." The patient says "Oh my gosh what could possibly be worse than that?!" The doctor says "Well...we've been trying to contact you since yesterday..."

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why did they make a new iphone? because individuals like to be connected to local and world wide media so they can stay in touch with all news, friends and family.

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What's the difference between cat and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other is a watermelon.

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What is worst than 1 baby dead in a microwave? 2 babies dead in the same microwave !

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Its a long story, I got two balance nerves, I technically got four ear drums (relax you cant see it nor anything,neither can doctors without weird unpleasant stuff), I got about twice the number of synapses as regular people, and well, that makes me pretty damn good at some things, and a total retard at others.

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Interrupting Doctor Interru--- You Have Cancer...

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A white man walks into a bar. Then he gets a beer.

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack, due to her poor eating habits.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

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Why didn't Suzie Fall off the Swings? She Has no legs and couldn't get on

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what do you call a baby in a blender? A really funny event.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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