why couldn't the man play frisbee? he was a dog

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I have ADD Check out this flashlight!

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haha your power hose was robbed and the shitty bike

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What is worse than finding a real joke on Anti-joke.com? Starving children in Africa.

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A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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What happened to the homeless guy when a woman gave him five dollars? He shot the woman because he is mentally retarded.

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An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

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Hey how was your audition?" "yeah really good, I got in...

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Two cows were in a feild, one said "moo" and the other said "i was going to say that!"

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How do u make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face

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What are we ? Students ! What do we want ? Six months holiday ! When do we want it ? Twice a year !

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do you listen to dubstep? OH YEA I LOVE SKRILLEX -_-

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What's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings What's worse than 2 bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? 3 bee stings.

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What's the worst way to say you want to break up? Kill her dog.

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What did the farmer say when he finally found his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?" Oh ya he had alzheimers.

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Why did Lisa fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock! Who's there? *Definitely not Lisa.

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The first train go fowards at 250 mph, and the second train takes a left, how many pancakes are on my rooftop? - The answer is purple because aliens don't dribk coffee

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Knock Knock Who's there? You know you really should have a safer way of finding out who is really on the other side. Now a days it's just not safe to ask, "who's there". I mean it could have been, Milkman, Plummer, or worst a Land Shark!

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A cat starts grooming itself How many sprinkles does it take to cover the moon Cabinet because whales live in water

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Very, very hungry.

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A couple is playing chess. The man then chokes his wife to death, throws her body in a woodchopper, and eats her like cereal- Frost

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Why does pavement get hot. Because it’s black. How could you tell she had bruises. Because they were black. Why did the boy drop out of school. Because he was dying of melanoma.

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There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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