Why did the man walk into the grocery store? To provide an alibi for his identical twin who was committing 1st degree murder at the time.

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14 people jump in a hole about 25 ft deep. they can't climb out because it is a straight vertical drop.

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A man walked into a house, He never came back out as he fell down the stairs and snapped his neck, His family mourn him everyday.

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numbers just make the funniest antijokes

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Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first baby. Why did the third baby fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She didn't. Despite losing her arms in a terrible accident as a child, Suzy persevered to become a renowned gymnast. After several turns as a champion Special Olympian, Suzy retired from sports in order to tour elementary schools as a guest speaker. She inspired thousands of disabled children across North America and was a highly-respected orator. Suzy sadly passed away in 2009 at the age of 62. She is survived by her two lovely daughters, Karen and Michelle.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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what did the bot get for his birthday? .. men!

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mat (telling anti joke): so you are stranded in a desert, right and kyle: no. Mat: no man i'm Kyle: no (kyle was later found dead)

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because it is a horse and doesn't understand English. It gets confused about it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, upending a few tables along the way.

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What did the guy say to the campgrounds? It was in tents (get it like intense but it is a pun)

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knock knock who's there Bob I don't know you Bob and if you don't get off my porch this minute i'm calling the authorities.

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What can hitler cook well Steak

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If you dont see banners here it does mean they are not here. P.S Advertising helps fill our pockets and annoy you. Please be understanding in the fact that we will permaban you while grinning if you refuse to UNDER-stand our rule.

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Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there. Just kidding because today brought terminal cancer.

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Guess whats in my hand. Can you guess? A gun. Bam bam, you're dead. Haha

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The asian boy only did an hour of study....... nothing was heard of him after his mum found out

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What's the richest fish in the sea? The one you threw a quarter at.

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What's small, black,and crispy? A baby after an apartment fire

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A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, the bear asks the rabbit does shit stick to your fur? The rabbit says no, so the bear wipes his ass on the rabbit

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Knock Knock Who's there? Me!! .... me who? Just open the motherf***ing door!! MOM!?! Theres a rapist at the door. MOM: No Jimmy, thats your father

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the car.

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whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

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Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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