why dont you hit a black kid on a bike? its probably your bike.

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What's long, hard, and black, and goes into wet things? A submarine.

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Whats fun about having sex with twenty six year olds? Theres twenty of them

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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Face...tastes like chicken!

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How does a dyslexic person read the word 'schitzophrenia'? Schitzophrenia. I leid abuot teh dyslxeia.

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When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in life's eyes. Then life won't trust you with lemons.

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What does a person with Alzheimer's do? To get to the other side.

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Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the cupboard cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have ADD Hey look, a squirrel!!

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Why didnt santa leave presents under the tree? Because santa doesnt exist.

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A car with four Mexicans drives off of a cliff. What's the bad news? They were my friends.

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Who gave Miley Cyrus her new haircut? Hellen Keller

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"If life was fair, I would have a girlfriend" - William Deane

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Hey man. what? squidbillies.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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What happened to the homeless guy when a woman gave him five dollars? He shot the woman because he is mentally retarded.

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Hey how was your audition?" "yeah really good, I got in...

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Whats better than sex? Not dying. Ha

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An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

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What do you call somebody who votes for Donald Trump? A voter. What do you call somebody who votes for Hillary Clinton? A voter.

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What smells like smoke, sounds like a pig, and looks like a horse? My mom's boyfriend

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How many licks did it take for the owl to get to the center of the tootsie roll tootsie pop? A: Since when did owls have tounges?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops