A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

She was so hot every guy instantly jizzed upon seeing her. Even seeing her fingernails gave boners to thousands of people. Poor thing never had sex, no one could hold it in until they started. Maybe only Chuck Norris.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his town.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Say you are caught in a net with 10 other people in said net at a construction site. A pair of scissors are right next to you and everyone said to use the scissors. But instead of using the scissors, you use your teeth in risk of a broken tooth.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

"George? I wanna tend da wabbits, George" - Lennie Smalls

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call it wen black people are sky diving? ...Night

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you tell a clown his fly is open? Say sir your fly is open. Then beat him with a pipe until you cant tell what used to be his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: What did the duck say to the bartender? A: Nothing considering that ducks cannot speak

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, It's none of my business.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's similar about a black person and a white person? They're both black, apart from the white person

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did God say to the priest while he was masturbating.... ... God doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Fine, start by proving to me that you can be a reasonable human being, and I will meet you myself, I have too many of those that rely on my guidance and protection in order for me to send myself off to some suicide mission. Say, are you familiar with the Antony Stark method?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock Knock. Whose there? Fed-Ex, here's your new brother.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms! Knock knock! Who'z there? Not Suzy.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why were the African, Asian and Mexican men thrown out of the bar the barman was a racist

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A black man, a Rabbi, a circus clown, a soldier and the Pope all walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the man who was having Deja Vu post on this website? What did the man who was having Deja Vu post on this website? What did the man who was having Deja Vu post on this website?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

your life

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Pandas Everywhere!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A black guy. A Jew and a dyke died in a plane crash!:) Who was flying? ....why would you be wondering that when you should be wondering why i put a smile-face beside the details of the crash..

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is the color of your spleen? I dont know i'm not a doctor

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what did batman say to robyn before he got in the car?... "get in the car"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops