Q: what did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: We're both lawyers!

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An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman notices this rather humorous cliche and proceeds to point it out, laughs are shared by all.

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They say you are what you eat, but i don't remember eating a big bowl of sexy.

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An American, a Canadian, and a Scottish man died in a horrible car accident. Their story was used as a lesson to keep teenagers from drunk driving.

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What do Australians and New Zealanders have against pods anyway?

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: toothpaste

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Help, this is an urgent message from the S.S. Obesity. We're sinking; I can't imagine why.

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What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in circle.

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What would happen if you put avocando, pineapple, sardines, peanut butter, brussel sprouts and milk into a blender and drank it. most probabley salmonala poisoning because the sardines were off.

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What do you call the birth of George Lucas? Terrible, abdominal pain for his mother.

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A white player in the NBA. Wait...

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Link ate ink to make him sink.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Sorry, what? your door is kind of thick.

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I forgot how the joke starts but the punchline goes something something something your moms a slut.

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Where do you find a dead hooker? where you left her.

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Racial equality.

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Why did the hot blonde strip down? So she can take a shower

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What happened when Mark's hair died? He got depressed that he was growing old and the signs of it were showing.

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A pigeon walks into a bar. Someone left the door opened.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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George Bush.

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What kind of doctors would you call A 30 year old chimpanzee? I would say "Plastic surgeon" but that would be unscrupulous to the chimpanzees because the tearing off or "lifting" of the owners face is because they are just animals. And should have never been kept in captivity that long anyways.

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Q: What did the doctor say to the man with terminal cancer? A: You have terminal cancer.

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If god himself had a religion he would be a self centered bastard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops