Do Your Homework: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Get An Award At School: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Figure How To Adjust The Zoom On Your Computer: Mum & Dad - WOW HOW DO YOU KNOW SO MUCH, YOU'RE SO CLEVER, WHO TAUGHT YOU THIS?! Typical ...

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse becomes depressed. He didn't ask to look like this. He drinks himself into a stupor, and then crashes into another car on the highway on the way home, killing a family of five. The horse is now in jail for life.

Jack and jill went up a hill to get some water. Jack fell down, twisted his ankle, and continued to roll. He broke his spine and collar bone and he was later taken to the hospital. Later that night he died because the doctors couldn't do anything. Jill then killed herself in mourning.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: So it could get hit by a car, to prove that chickens have free will, and have every right to cross a road without any particualar reason.

A catholic priest gets a nun pregnant. He drowns the baby several months later.

There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

Did you know Helen Keller has a pool? no oh well she does.

What do you call an Arab driving a Plane? A Pilot.

Robin, get in the Batmobile.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I can't wait to shove my finge in you

What is the difference between Chuck Norris and a frog one wears pants and the Chuck Norris doesn't.

Jack and Jill went up the hill. It was in the middle of winter and they froze to death.

Jake: Where's Waldo Me: Where? Jake: I don't know

Who's the best German Chef? Hitler

What did the black guy who was lost in Syria say? "Where am I?"

What do you call an Asian man without any clothes on? -naked

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? I don't know, why don't you go ask him?

The Oakland Raiders

Little Jack Horner sat in a corner, Dead.

An Irishman, an Englishman, and a Scottishman walks into a bar. They had a good time.

Bob Saget

What's worse than dropping your ice cream? The Holocaust

Sharing means caring, Caring is socialism

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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