Wanna hear something dirty? Mud.

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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Why was the priest circumcised? He had a very painful urinary tract infection

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You see the love of your life. You can't say anything. She walks toward you. You can't move. She sits on you. You can't do anything. She starts crapping on you. You realize your a toilet. -Adam Chebali

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If a man dies in China, Does anybody care?

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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Whats worse than cold feet? getting your feet chopped off.

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What do you call something green and fuzzy? Grass, I lied about the fuziness.

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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Why did helen kellers dog committ suicide? You would to if you had massive clinical depression.

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On Wednesday night, a drunk man was walking on the cliffs of dover. his funeral was saturday.

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Ashton Kutcher meets a fine cougar at a bar and the cougar fatally wounded his throat.

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Why was the man sent to the hospital? He got crushed by a flying refrigerator.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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So there were two... sigh... I hate my life....

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knock knock who's there? hope

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A black man walks into a bar. He paid his tab and couldn't have been more polite.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your balls chewed off by a rottweiler.

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Why didn't jimmy get to eat his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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a man walked into a bar. the bartender asked why he was annoyed. he answered " people keep on telling this joke and I'm tired of the making me get drunk

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A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

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If God created the world, including man kind, why do we worship him? We are corrupt, selfcentered, animal slaughterers. He made us this. So, Why?

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Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! What's good for the goose Is good for the gander I'm Donald Trump!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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