Jeff has 45 candy bars. He eats 40. What does Jeff have? Diabeetus

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A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

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Your momma is so ugly she gave freedy krooger nightmares!

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Chicken

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Too many because they are babies and they don't have the motor skills to properly use a paintbrush.

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So a guy walked into the doctors and said, "It hurts when I poke my leg like this." The doctor said, "Well don't poke your leg like that."

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What is shit? It's Deshitified already.

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Why didn't the millionaire jump off the Golden Gate Bridge? He said "I don't have to commit suicide, that's for poor people" (Wyndellberg)

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ask me if i have a place to call home> 'have you a place to call home?' no im sad and lonely.

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How man people does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1 an electrician

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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whats white jizz

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Your sex life.

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why couldnt the man dunk? because he was 3' 2" and a legal midget.

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A cat playing laser tag.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing???? she had down syndrome

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Q: What's white and sticky? A: Glue.

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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What has hands but isn't alive? A dead person.

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Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens foot.

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in china a dog was being cooked on the grill he was seasoned ans eaten by a black man

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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An English man, Irish man and a Scotsman walk into a bar. And have a wonderful evening of multicultural entertainment and fun together.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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