Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows, it's impossible to determine the motivations of an animal that is incapable of speech.

Why did Christopher Columbus sail to America? Because sailing was faster than swimming.

rose's are red violets are blue bernard is mine and yours too if you hurt him in any way i'll punch you in your face and make you gay Krissc

You suck big fat slobber

Why did the blonde make pasta even though she had a gluten allergy? She had some Italian friends coming over. Also she bought some gluten-free pasta and sauce so she wouldn't need to be hospitalized.

Why did the little girl die so suddenly? The bullet got her right in the heart.

How many dead hookers can you fit in a trunk? Five

Uh Oh you just fell, So, So I've got one thing to say to you, And what's that Don't fall it gets you down!!!!!!!!

Two monkeys are sittin in a bathtub. The first monkey says to The second, "HEY! pass the soap." The second says to the The first monkey, "DUDE. thats not soap, its a typewriter!!!!"

What do you get when you cross rice flour,vegetable oil,corn oil,cottonseed oil,soybean oil,dried potatoes,corn flour,maltodextrin,wheat starch,modified rice starch,sugar and mono-and-di-glycerides,malted barley flour,wheat bran,dried black beans and salt? Pringles,Multi Grain,truly original

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing Jenga on September 11th.

Five guys in white sheets chase a black man down the street. It is Halloween and all six people are close friends and enjoy goofing around.

roses are red violets are violet hey look up there! Its a suicide pilot!

Q: what is green and looks like grass. A: fake grass

What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

knock knock "who's there?" "boo" "boo who?" dont worry its only a joke dont cry.

Why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? Because bungee jumping is a great activity to relieve stress.

Q: What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? A: "Get in the car."

What's black and always in the back of a cop car? The seat.

why did annie fall of the swing? she had no arms.. knock knock who's there? not annie.

what is red and lies on the floor? the boy that jumped out of the plane

How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side

What's a worse place to be besides the friendzone? On your grandmas lap crying because your parents just died in a car crash.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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