What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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What's the best way to win a race? Run faster than all other participants.

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What do you call a building full of Mexicans? JAIL.

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Where did the Smith family spend their weekend together? At the father's funeral.

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So a man walks into a bar and gets drunk.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a women.

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Once upon a time there was a tree. But it was just a tree, so it sat there. Then it didn't rain for a while, so the tree died. And nothing ever grew there again. The End

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If you watch the titanic backwards, its really about a magical ship which saves peoples lives!

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver. She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so. She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you." He replies "BREASTS."

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

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My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a black guy board a plane. Who gets kicked off first? The jew for his unruly behavior towards the flight attendant.

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Why did the kid get on the bus. Because he had to go home

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Why didnt the vampire have a reflection? You have to be real to have a reflexion

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why was the little boy sad he found out he had breast cancer

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The Dark knight rises................. From the place he was before he rose.

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Why the moron throw the clock out the window? Because he was a moron.

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What do you call an giraffe? Well, you should probably call it a giraffe if you want people to think you are literate and know your grammar.

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A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What do Richard and Judy have in common? Nothing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He actaully never did. He only made it half way before a cop issued him with an infringement notice for jaywalking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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