Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge. Why did Sally fall off her bike? She was hit by a falling monkey and fridge.

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What did the Ethiopian get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Whats fun about having sex with twenty six year olds? Theres twenty of them

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You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

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Why was Jenny alone? Everyone else had died in a zombie apocalypse.

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Three Jews walked into a bar. I lied... it was a gas chamber.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead."

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What did a Blond do in the Desert? She got lost after Falling of a flying carpet

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Why did 3 kids mom's die last year? Because they were depressed and committed suicide.

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars...except for the duck

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Did you hear about the peanut that was assaulted? He filed a police report weeks ago and is upset by the sluggish nature of the justice system.

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- Knock, knock. -- How many dead babies does it take to cross the street and walk into a bar? - That's an odd question to ask to a visitor. -- Your mom.

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What do you call an unconscious black man? An ambulance.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

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What's white and can't climb trees? Yogurt

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What do you call white trash Garbage

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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Yo mama so fat - - That your dad left her, and it's tearing your family apart

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So there is a blind man... and he walks past a fish market and takes a deep breath and says"Oh boy it sure does smell like fish out here".

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Your mom is so stupid she has trouble holding a steady job and struggles to support her family.

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

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What happened to the boy after his life saving surgery? He died of an unrelated disease.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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