My wife came up to me and said, "I want you to make me scream with 2 fingers!" So I poked her in the eyes!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey.

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What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

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Don't tell anyone, the Health Department is already on our backs.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a sandwhich... I dont rape my sandwhiches before i eat them

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So a woman walks into a store... There's a lamp selling for $5.99. She buys it because she thinks that's a pretty good deal.

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A Redhead, a Blonde, and a Brunette are all standing on top of a cliff in Ireland. They took a few pictures, and all in all it was a lovely vacation.

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What do you call a german soldier? A Nazi

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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Q: how do u wake lady gaga up? A: you poke-poke poke her face.

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A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he was told he would never find a wife

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

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Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

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Knock knock. Who's there- oh wait, I don't care. Get away from my house or I am going to call the police.

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The t rex said to the textbook ............. Im not going to read you

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What do you get if you mix a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu? A new breed of dog.

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What's orange and fluffy? Orange Fluff

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Two dinosaurs go to a theme park. On the way home they contemplate that they didn't really enjoy themselves. They decide to buy some ice cream to cheer them up a bit. They are severely frustrated by the lack of fun they had for the money they paid. Then they go to sleep. I completely forgot how this joke went, but your mom's a slut.

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How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? None. While they were figuring out who to change the bulb the bulb lit a spark and the house caught fire. Everyone but one died. The black guy couldn't change the bulb because the bulb was lost in the fire.

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roses are red violets are blue i just made you remember two girls one cup

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What did the white man say to the black man that was very interested in the story he had to tell? Cool Story bro, tell it again!

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whenever you come out of emma browns bedroom

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A young black guy was explaining how he was raised by a single mother

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops