Why was the prostitute unsuccessful? because she had no vagina

a giraffe walks into a bakery, "can I have 101 brown loafs please?" the baker answers: "hmm I've got only 100 loafs is that ok too?" the giraffe says: "why the hell would I need a 100 loafs?!"

Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Dandelions are yellow

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

What do you get when ned puts toast in the toaster? A fucking massive sperm whale.

nothing drews nose is f**ing hilarious

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

why did the roof cave in? It was not structurally sound do to poor architecture

A blonde, ginger, and brunette took the SAT. They all performed successfully and were admitted into their colleges of choice.

Q. What do you call Lebron James on a roller Coster? A. A man who makes a lot of money and decided to take his family out on a family fun day to an amusement park.

Why did the clown want a new bike? Don't ask me, clowns are allowed to want things too

A Jew and a Muslim are playing golf. Just not together.

whats the difference between a European and a african an african has more pigment in his skin due to prolonged exposure to light

Knock knock whos there Ewan Gudgeon *Shoots Himself cause cannot live with hearing tht name*

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what do you call a black lawyer? a very well educated black man

There are two muffins in an oven. Since they are inanimate objects, they do nothing but sit there and bake until they are a golden brown color, at which point a man takes them out of the oven and eats them for breakfast.

Q.what is worse than finding a worm in your apple? A.finding two worms.

Why did I get thumbs down from everyone? Answer: Because they hate my anti-joke.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

Three men walk into a bar they suffer permanent brain damage, and completely lose their basic cognitive abilities. They will never be able to speak to one another again.

Hello we are from the church of the latter day saints.

What do you call a truck full of dead babies? Not enough.

Why were my arms so tired after I flew in from the coast? Because the stewardess, god rest her soul, failed to latch the door securely.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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