What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

How many seals does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Depends on how high the ceiling is.

An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

Knock knock. who's there? your dead cat, here you go.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

What's ripe and orange? A ripe orange.

Why does the Gay guy have a bell on his bike? Because its the only way his blind dog can follow him.

What's the scariest thing about the dark? There's a black man in my bed.

Why Was 6 Afraid of 7? Because 7 was a Pedophile

How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends, but most weigh around 775 to 1,200 pounds.

how long does it take chuck norris to watch a 24 hour video 24 hours

What do you call a deaf-black man that professionally generates maps of the world? A cartographer.

why was six afraid of seven? because seven eight nine

whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead black guy on the road? there is skid marks leading up to the dog.

whats the difference between boyscouts and a jew? boyscouts come back from camp.

YOU-why did the airplane crash? (person): why? YOU-Because jimmy was flying it. (person): Who is jimmy? YOU- a fish.

Knock knock Who is there? Your mom Your mom who? STOP WITH THIS GAME AND JUST OPEN THE DOOR!

what does the muslim guy say in a very busy metro station? jaallalalalalalalalla BAM

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

Why did the chicken cross the road? Peer pressure

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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