What do you get when you cross a monkey and a fish? An unlikely premise upon which to base a joke

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what's inflation? a hollow cost.

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Q: Whats red and bad for your teeth? A: a brick

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" Whats the deal with airline food? " -Sharon

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How do you confuse a blonde? To get to the other side

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Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

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Whats the difference between Obama and Hitler? One is the President of the United States The other is a fascist dictator that killed millions.

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How do you get rid of a pile of dead babies? Call 911 so someone will pick them up and take them to the morgue.

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Bill gates walked into a store and farted. It stunk up the entire place and the employees were mad. But it was their fault for not having windows.

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Fat people

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What do you call 100 dead babies in my garage? Murder.

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What did the biological child say to his adopted sister? We are both loved equally by our parents.

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What do you call a bunch of white people walking down a cliff? Avalanche

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Q: what did batman say to robin before they got into the car? A: get in the car (:

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a brunet,a redhead,and a blone were stranded on an island 4 miles away from land. the brunet swam 1 mile and drowned. the redhead swam 2 and drowned. the blond swam 3 miles and decided to swim 3 miles back to the island

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Hey, do you want to play the rape game ? NO! That's the spirit

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What did the black man say after he swallowed the bicycle? He didn't say anything. Swallowing a bicycle is physically impossible.

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ew. I wouldn't sleep with you if you were the last man on earth! ...that's what she said!

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Plumber, ma'am." "Thank God you're here. I haven't been able to take a shower in three days."

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Q. How do you know when you've had too much too drink? A. Your dead(No because when your dead you can't think.)

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Why is the horny toad named that way? Because its a misnomer of the horned lizard.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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So i broke up with my girl, here her number... SIKE!! ITS THE WRONG NUMBAHHH!!!

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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