How do you make a health inspector give you a good report? Throw his family into a pack of alligators.

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Roses are red vielots are blue but they aren't as sweet as you.Can you be my Valentine ny choclate cupcake will you me my choclate

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What did the german speech therapist say to his mute patient? There a few methods we can use to help you obtain the power of speech.

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KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

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What's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? So YOU'RE the one!

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A man finds an antique lamp at a garage sale. He takes it home and polishes it, and a majestic genie materializes. The genie thanks the man for freeing him from excruciating slavery, shakes his hand, and returns home to his overjoyed family.

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What happened to the orphan who ate a sandwitch? She got hit by a whale!

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A hat.

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What did the tide say to the sea?ANSWER-- Long time no sea. LOL Issaiah from OHIO yolo

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If life gives you lemons, keep them because hey, free lemons

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what did the boy say to the alien? ET i will protect you. The alien slaps him for being stupid

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What is worse than being bitten by a snake? Being bitten twice! - Louis

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im tired Cheese on toast

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Knock, Knock.. Whose there? Its the Census Man!!

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What is the meaning of life? 42

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Mexican? I dont care if you are Mexican or not really, it makes no difference to me, I know you, I seen you before. But seriously, I consider you a good friend and all, and it seems we both get along, but you know after stuff happens, are we still friends then or is this all just a mating game thing for you? You can be honest with me, I am a realist, and I kinda like the idea of,the day after tomorrow, wont deny that. Its just that I dont want to lose a good friend in the process, and if this is just you trying to score, then well, I guess its still nice knowing this side of you.

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Why did the boy eat the hedgehog? Because it made his mouth bleed,

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whats up with that? i'm from jersy

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a man walks into a house... then realizes its not his house and leaves.

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What's black and is hanging from a tree in my backyard? Avocados.

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A man walks into a haunted house and screams. He had arrows on a nail.

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What's plastic and kids turn it on... A xbox.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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What do people and jelly beans have in common? Nothing. One is a living creature, and the other is a tasty treat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops