I haven't left my basement in 29 years

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Brandon Bass's career average for assists is 0.7 a game. guess what his nickname is bassy

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Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

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A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange.

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How do you get your sister to stop wearing your underwear? Throw up on her.

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Where is Sally hiding? She was kidnapped and has probably been murdered, I lied about her hiding.

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How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, and died of cancer

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what do you call a cat that looks like a lion 7

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What did the salami say to the ham? Nothing; meat can not talk

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What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

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What happens if you drop a baby of a cliff It dies

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What would have happend if martin Luther king was white? I don't know he wasn't so it's irrelevant

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How do you stuff a giraffe into a refrigerator? You can't, giraffes are too big.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English.It is confused by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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If somebody stabs you in the forehead, you are likely to get injured.

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A guy walked into a bar, ouch.

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what do you call a cross between lasagna and a human. weird

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A black man and a mexican man jump off the empire state building.Who wins? Nobody,suicide is a serious thing and it is depressing to think that the minorities In America would do such a thing to themselves.

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How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? None because alligators don't fly.

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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Q: What did the schizophrenic man say to his father? A: "Every time grandmother's urn shrieks, this pornography turns to black ink."

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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