"Did you fall from heaven?...Cause your face is really messed up."

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What did the blind, deaf, retarded kid get for Christmas? Spoiled.

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A dog walks into a bar, followed by his blind owner.

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Why did the Fly die? Cause it died the average life span is 30 days.

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What did Helen Keller do at a concert? Sit.

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How do you make a mime cry? Hit him with an axe

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Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.

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Why the moron throw the clock out the window? Because he was a moron.

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What's white and red all over? A white guy who walked in the ghetto.

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whdid the cop say to the robber as he ran out of the bakery? I caught you bread handed

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Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

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You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

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Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

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A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

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Brandon Bass's career average for assists is 0.7 a game. guess what his nickname is bassy

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I haven't left my basement in 29 years

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What did boy with now arms and no legs get for christmas A pogo-stick

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what do you call a dog with not legs? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

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Whats worse tan finding a worm in your apple? Being touched by Michael Jackson

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Women's rights

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops