jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

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A man walks into a bar. On impact, he suffers quite the blow to his head, resulting in him falling unconscious. He is escorted to the hospital, where he is pronounced in a coma on arrival. His family is left devastated. His wife, who was a stay-at-home mother to their 2 children doesn't take this news very well and is sent into a spiraling depression. 16 years later, the man finally wakes from his coma to find that his son and daughter that he had left behind where now grown teenagers and almost done with high school, his wife's has remarried and given birth to his half-child. This is why you don't text while walking down a sidewalk.

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Boo Boo who? Ah don’t be sad, Boo’s here to cheer you up!

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Why do migets laught when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.

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What's black and white all over and has a mouth? A Zebra

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? It didn't. Anyone who would believe that is a complete moron.

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Simon says, "I'll give you a five second head start before I mow you down with my AK47."

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Whats funnier than a barrel full of dead babies? two barrels full of dead babies.

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Knock knock Who's there? Hi would you be interested in learning about Scientology? No

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yo mama is so fat she has more rolls than basken robins does flavors

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Where it had just witnessed a horrific car accident involving it's spouse, who died on impact. Eventually the chicken fell into a deep depression, taking it out on his children in the form of physical abuse. Over time, the chicken ended up being alone, having no contact with his kids, having no friends, and living in a massive house with no one else. One day, he had a stroke, and no one called an ambulance because no one knew.

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Why did the little girl fall off her bike? Because she had leprosy and had to have her legs and arms amputated

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the shed I'm gonna screw you

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Why did the boy cry Because he fell

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Yo mama so old, she must take arthritus medicine to keep out of extreme pain.

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My mom says to me are you gay and i say are you gay (What did i just do)

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I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

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Two olives are sitting on a table. One loses his balance and rolls off. The other calls down to it, "Oh my gosh, are you okay?" And the olive yells up, "No. I just rolled off a friggin table."

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What did the blonde say when she saw a tan button on her calculator? That must mean tangent.

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Why did the dog have no legs? Because its previous owner had cut them off.

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Yo momma so fat, she was recently diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and is at great risk for developing heart disease!

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Roses are red Violets are T I T S I like T I T S T I T S

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Why wasn't the woman happy when she gave birth? Because she was thrown into a pool of semen 9 months ago.

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How do you give an 80 year old man a heart attack? Hold a gun to his head

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops