Why did the portuguese fisherman take out a $20,000 loan with a reknown loan shark at exorbitant interest rates? He needed to buy a kidney on the black market for his drug addicted daughter who had also destroyed his credit score meaning he coudln't get a loan from the usual credit facilities such as banks and credit unions.

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Whats long and black and goes around corners? The unemployment line.

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What happened to the twins? 9/11

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy Wuzzy had cancer.

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How many pastry chefs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. It's a fairly simple job.

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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The woman says : OMG I am so hung over!! The man next to her has Terrible tourertts turns around and shouts I want my to make them hung over your face, her then moves away and rapes a apple of which he is eating, the woman turns around and dies as she has a brain tumor

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You mama's so fat, that the doctor suggested that she go on a diet.

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What's worse than having to tie one of your shoelaces after walking 5 miles? Getting a 56 year old mixture of blood, urine and sperm injected in your asshole.

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What is the difference between 10 dead babies and a 1,000,000 dollar car I don't have a 1,000,00 dollar car

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Q:Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A:Sea creatures seeking shelter and food

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Dear Rubix Cube, DONE!! Sincerely, Colorblind

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What does Yoko Ono say while rehearsing her song before a concert? She gives directions to the band.

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Why don't Vikings read the New York Times? Because they all died centuries ago. And none of them live in New York.

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Why did the Negro say no to the Aryan? It doesnt matter what he said! thats racist!

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What do you call a black prostetut with braces. A black and decker pecker wrecker

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Q:whats the difference between grass and a car? A:They all have wheels, except the grass

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Ask me if I am a Truck Are You a Truck No

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a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

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KENYAN HEALTHCARE kenyan water kenyan aids-free kenyan we dont have flies around us

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Yo mama so fat.

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What do you call a cold chicken? A Raw Chicken.

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A pregnant woman walks into a bar and miscarries.

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Q. What did Michael Jackson say to the banana? A. Nothing, he's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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