What did the apple say to the Banana? ....Nothing... fruit don't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Prince of bell air with Keanu Reeves: SMIIIIIIIIIIITH! DID YOU DESTROY MY COUCH? Neo: ... WELL DID YOU BOTHER CARLTON DOING HIS STUFF? Neo... Will you shut up then? ... Intro: This, is my story, read the text, thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red Violets are blue I like pussy Because it feels really good when I stick my penis inside her vaginal opening

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's black and breaks your stove when falling from a tree? Your stove

thumb_up thumb_down -10

SQUID DOMINATION!!! Squids WILL Take Over the World!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the Harry Potter fan cry in school? She ran out of tampons.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What would you do for a klondike bar? Walk to the corner store to buy one.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock, Knock. Who's There? Its Greg. I forgot my keys, can you let me back in?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tradegy.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What would happen if the whole world farted at once?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did the boy drop his icecream?? he got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Ele PHa n T

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because of excess velocity.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What does the ice cream man say to the kids? Hey kids want some ice cream?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why is the black guy afraid of the white guy? He's not, it's the other way around.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

This is a story of Bobbie He was fat so he got bullied at school he did not have any friends. He ate a lot and watched the television. He was called names such as big, fat, an idiot, clumsy. But he begun to realise that if he was smart, he could become rich. So he studied hard and hard, but he did not become better at it. So he thought I want to succeed in sports, so he began exercising and was on a strict diet, but nothing changed. He was still fat and unfit. Then one day he knew that he couldn't succeed. So he asked God, what is the purpose of me living, why can't I have something, maybe a talent. God replied I'm sorry but I can't give you a talent. You have to figure it out by yourself. Then Bobbie knew what his talent was. So the following morning Bobbie went to www.anti-joke.com and began writing jokes. Octopus. Bye

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I see said the blind man, to his deaf wife, as the cripple ran by.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the woman stop running? She was an escaped convict that had been on the run for twelve years and the police had finally found the place where she was hidding. Upon arriving at her house she started to open fire on the three police cars, hit two cops and killed one more. The two are fine and are going through physical therapy as they were both hit in the spine and have a difficult time performing the smallest task. The one was one called billy. Billy had died in the hospital after asking if they had got her. He died believing a lie. They never got her. She is still on the run, I lied about her stopping.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: What did the kid say after he told a stupid joke? A: Well they banned me from Anti-Joke!!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did everyone want to hang out with the mushroom? They didn't. In fact the mushroom's social anxiety had developed to the stage that he had frequent contemplations of self-harm and is in serious need of extensive therapy.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a woman with one leg? I don't know. I am not in the position, currently, of knowing anyone who finds themselves in such an unfortunate condition.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the man drink a glass of water? Why not?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops