What do you call a man covered in bees? Nothing, you'll startle the bees!

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Why did the girl run over the road? Her buttons rolled to the other side! (From a book called... Al-capone does my shirts) (Natilie)

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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What do you do when a red gorilla comes running at you with 7 dominoes in his hand Ask him to stop

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What does the thirsty butcher drink? Chocolate milk. Because he can.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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roses are red violets are indigo

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was nailed to the chicken

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The rabbit owns a small business and has trouble getting a loan.

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Actually it was me Josh brown

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What do you call a 2 storied house ? A dolphin! :D

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a horse walks into the bar. the bartender asks why the long face.

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(joker) Do you like fishsticks? (recipient) "No" (any response from the joker at this point qualifies as anti joke)

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A black man is seen next to a dead man. Who do you call? The ambulance.

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Why do nascar drivers wreck Jeff gordon's bad racing Stupidity And kyle buschs great wrecking ability

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why did Sally fall off of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there?

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Why did the black man get drenched by a fire hose because he was on fire

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Whats red and bad for your teeth? Bricks

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If 1+1=2, then you must have passed first grade arithmetic.

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What is the difference between a tree and a person? Trees don't scream when hit with an axe.

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Half life 3 confirmed

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what did the dog say to the cat? bark what did the cat say to the dog? nothing it ran away

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What do a grape and an elephant have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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Alpine Ibexes climb nearly 90 degree angles to lick salt deposits off mountain sides. They crave that mineral.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops